Today we welcome our guest author, Sonja Samuel, as she joins us for an interview about her book, WHEN I ACCEPTED ME: 52 Affirmations for Accepting the Distinct and Unique Person You are Designed to Be!
Sonja Samuel, Speaker & Author
First…a brief bio about Sonja.
You may have seen here on the sidelines cheering for one of the most winningst football teams in the NFL or on a commerical or a magazine. A former print model, TV spokesperson, internet radio and talk show host, Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader and NFL Players Cheerleader. SONJA SAMUEL currently travels the world as an international speaker, leadership consultant, and life empowerment strategist to Fortune 500 companies and their workforce; as well as traveling the globe as a performing arts director and short-term missionary.
Her inspiring and empowering influence as been experienced throughout North America, South and Central America, Europe, Africa, Asia, and Australia.
With her work in High Schools across the country, and with youth and young adult women around the world through her performing arts company, Sonja noticed a trend that most of the young women are more focused on finding a man instead of fulfilling their mission in life. Therefore, to assist them in their quest, Sonja will soon release a new book on “How to Know He is NOT the One.”
Sonja has received numerous honors including being named as an Outstanding Women of America and Personalities of the South. Her mission in life is to “EmPower people to impact their world, fulfill their destiny, and make a divine difference.
Sonja, why did you choose cheerleading?
The years I spent as a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader are some of my most cherished memories of growth and maturity. The dedication to a cause outside of yourself, the hard work and discipline I learned from that experience helped shape the person I am today; therefore, in looking back, I don’t think I choose cheerleading, it chose me. I’ve been involved in cheerleading and dance all my life, however, I had never thought about being a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader. When I heard my fellow college cheerleading members talking about it and it was mentioned to me about trying out, I initially said I wasn’t interested. However, later when hearing the advertisement on the radio I felt a tug to do it. I don’t know why and it the time I didn’t give it a lot of thought. In fact, I really didn’t tell anyone I had decided to do it but as a result, I not only made it but made it my very first time trying out which at the time was a rare occurrence.
I actually think the knowhow of hard work I had to put into rebuilding my self esteem was learned during my DCC years. In some ways my DCC years was a training ground for helping me learn to cope with life ups and downs.
What about you didn’t you like?
After going through a difficult marriage situation, it really shocked me emotionally. I had lost confidence in who I was as a person, how I was wired together, and my decision making ability. The misfortune of my marriage, separation and divorce made me question myself and of course, for a period of time the whole situation made me blame myself.
What happened in your life to cause you to “not” accept you?
The main event would be the demise of my marriage, but also having to deal with the judgment of other people on what or who they think I should be and/ or how they think I should be.
When did you realize you had to accept yourself? What do you think would have happened had you not accepted yourself?
As I started to rebuild my life it became evident that if I was going to be all God created me to be and live the abundant life He said He came to give, I had to accept the good and the bad that life had presented to me. As much as I had hoped, wished, dreamed and even prayed for things to be different, it wasn’t. As I spent time seeking the Lord and seeking support from others it always brought me back to the point that to go forward, I had focus on my thoughts and not my emotions, what I was feeling. Getting my thinking right started with accepting what was and the way I was …my strengths and weaknesses; my good decisions and bad decisions; being honest with what worked for me and what didn’t.
If I had not gotten to that point I think I would be leading a very miserable life right now. I don’t think I would have been able to accomplish the things I have such as becoming an entrepreneur, international speaker; short term missionary; dance director and mentor to young adult women. I probably would have still been in emotional bondage and subject to everyone else’s thoughts and opinions and not comfortable with my own.
How do the people, friends and family members, treat you now?
Did they adjust well to the different outlook you have towards yourself? My family and true friends have always been a catalyst of love and acceptance for me. For the most part they’ve only known me as a person with high self-esteem and confidence so when I was at my lowest of having self-doubt and questioning myself it was painful for them to accept that person, and I am so glad they didn’t. Although, they could not do the work for me, they were a great support in giving me the space and the unconditional love I needed to work through my doubts and confusion at that time.
My family and friends were very happy to see the light, the sparkle and zest for life come back into my eyes.
Do you speak to men as well as women?
I do. One of the misunderstood facts about self-esteem is that it is only a woman’s issue or an adolescent/teenager issue when in fact building and maintaining self-esteem is a life issue that everyone deals with to some degree in various ways depending on the issues of life that is presented to us. I often address this issue with men in my corporate seminars or in one-on-one coaching sessions.
Elaborate please on page, 50. “I stopped letting others define me.”
I believe to be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is a great accomplishment. It’s hard sometimes because you want to know the thoughts, opinions and ideas of those around you but not to the point that their thoughts, opinions and ideas don’t serve a positive purpose for you or to the point that their thoughts, opinions and ideas are contrary to yours. That also includes the trends of pop culture. It’s natural to want to be included and accepted but it is always best to be true to yourself and who you are. In the end you will be much happier, and I believe it will be the road to lead you to fulfill your life’s purpose.
Can you talk about page, 47? “I came to embrace my times of confusion, times of struggles and times of grief as natural parts of life and parts of me that deserve grace?”
It’s been said that the only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time! That is also a great way to live life …one bite or one day at a time. We should set goals and make plans for the future but in the process we also need to learn to work our way in and out of problems and not let them define us or serve a death sentence on living an abundant life. We are not perfect beings and life is by far perfect. Ups and downs, triumph and tragedy are all a part of life so when we become confused, when we are struggling and experience grief, disappointment and despair, we have to know that ‘this too shall pass.’ Give yourself some room to be human, to walk through the tough situations and circumstances of life and accept these times as growth and advancement emotionally, mentally and probably most of all, spiritually. Those are great times to not ask God ‘why’ but ask God ‘what.’ What do You want me to learn from these challenges? I’ve learned it is not in the good times that we go deeper and grow stronger in our faith, virtues and values but it is in the tough times; so don’t beat yourself up over the challenges of life but instead embrace those times and know it will all work for your good.
Please share anything else that would help us understand the writing of your book and how it will help others.
I would encourage those that may be struggling or having a tough time right now to use the book as a workbook to not just read the affirmation but read it and then journal how the affirmations speak to them, how can they confirm the affirmations in their life or rewrite them to make it personal.
These affirmations came as a result of my life experiences and what I had to do to regain my self-esteem and find my voice and place for where I believe the Lord was leading me. I would love for the book to serve as a catalyst for others to write their own affirmations.
Can you share the process that God took you through in helping you write this book?
Well, it was in my spirit for a while to write a book. I had several thoughts or topics I had started to outline, however, on a speaking tour to Australia, I was inspired to address this topic. I speak a lot about this issue because everything we do or not do is affected by it. Of course, the normal course of action would be to develop a book with heavy content but the Lord lead me differently which is the way He often leads me which is to do things in unconventional ways and contrary to what would be seen as the ‘normal’ way.
As I started to write, I actually came up with over 100 affirmations but decided to break it down into two volumes because I wanted people to have an opportunity to really meditate and allow the affirmations to speak to them. When I’m doing any kind of study or self-development work, I normally break it down into weekly bite-size pieces even if the study calls for daily engagement. Because life can be so hectic, the weekly approach works best for me so I decided to outline the book in the same way. My thought was that people could take one affirmation a week and meditate on its meaning and then focus on personal application. I’ve had many people tell me that they read all of them and now are coming back to address and apply them one by one to their life.
Thank you Sonja!
You may find out more about Sonja Samuel and her book, WHEN I ACCEPTED ME at Sonja’s web site: www.SonjaSamuel.com.
If you would like to enter our random drawing for a copy of this book, please leave your comment on this blog. The drawing will be held in conjunction with the blog drawing on the CSS Blog on January 11, 2010.
The New Christian Charm Course: Today’s Social Graces for Every Girl by Emily Hunter, Jody Capehart, and Angela Carnathan (Harvest House Publishers)
